The Unfairness of Sexism

All women know by now that the media and the public are harsher on us with questions and remarks like, “What is she wearing?” “She is fat!” “Who does she think she is?! and so on. This have been going on for generations. It’s like nothing we do is good enough.

People are always complaining. Men think that this is a man’s world, and we women are just living in it.

Don’t get me wrong, not all men are that way, but many are. The media sure is. Remember when Hillary Clinton was running for president, there was alot of sexism (and racism too). Certain things people talk about, they wouldn’t have use that language if it was a man.

Women are the backbone of this country. Taking care of the kids, cooking the dinner, keeping the house clean, and holding the family together. Now, more and more women are going into the workforce and furthering their education.

Yes guys, women can do a man’s job, too! Probably even better than you! Women shouldn’t let others dictate their lives. The media is doing a good job of that. Always bringing out the latest makeup, wardrobes, trends. Tempting us to buy this and then that. Telling us skinny is in and average is out.

Women should realize that there is nothing pretty about skin and bones. Those stick skin models do Not look pretty or healthy. They look anorexic and sick. So ladies don’t starve or puke your guts out trying to look like a size 0.

It is not worth it. Unhealthy, malnourished, health problems is not attractive at all. If a man don’t like you for who you are then he’s not worth your love anyway. You can find better out there. You need a man who will love you for you, not what he think you should look like.

If he cheat on you, please don’t stay with him. Especially if he shows no remorse. Lose the zero and find you a hero.

If he have to cheats on you, sneaks around behind your back, tries to play you for a fool, then he’s sorry and not worth your time. Ladies there are real good men out there, though it’s rare, you just got to take your time and choose wisely. It’s worth taking your time to get in the right relationship than rushing through and having it fall apart.

Also don’t always pay attention to the media, they are making money and trying to get more business from people like you.

When the people are talking in their sexist ways about how women should just let it be and everything will be okay. She should know her place and so on.

Yeah, we know our places alright. They’re not only in the bedroom and kitchen, but it’s anywhere that we want to be in life.

 

*Published in Arkansas’s Sync Weekly 03-14-12/Vol. 5 Issue 47

(Published before on June 27, 2009 on this site with revisions)

Determined & Fed Up Black Women: Breaking The Stereotypes

The title is what we mean!

Determined and fed up black women breaking all the stereotypes against us and others.

What’s with the so called saying, “Angry Black Woman?”

These angry, black women that’s supposed to be bitter, loud, ignorant, trifling, on welfare, unmarried with a bunch of kids and don’t know who father either one of them, uneducated sista? Where did all of this come from!? Who passed this on from generation to generation? Feeding this ignorance and racism to the world! This is not even remotely true!

It is completely false to dump all African American women into one category and label them all angry black women!

There is some black women out there that this may apply to.

But that can also go to every other woman out there.

Whether she is Caucasian, Hispanic, Asian, Native American, etc.

Some men can also be all of these things too.

Whether they are Caucasian, African American, Hispanic, Asian, Native American, etc.

This can apply to anybody.

We can contribute this ignorance to the slave mentality that many people choose to believe and instilled it in their children.

Then throughout the years, throughtout the generations, people, the media, spread this foolishness around.

The mistake was when African Americans, especially women, let this poisoned thinking, influence them.

How did black women let this mentality stick with them?

By believing that lighter or fairer skin color is more attractive, narrow features more interesting, longer and staighter hair is what everyone wants.

Reinforcing these stereotypes by believing and becoming them.

Then the media spread this propaganda as if it is true and everyone already believes it.

This information is wrong.

Sure, maybe in some instances, negative lifestyles may influence more in some races compared to others.

But not all people of one race is this way.

A lot of this ignorant thinking contribute to much of the racism out there now.

People that thinks like this, is seriously misinformed and naive about different cultures in general.

There are many African American women that are the nicest and sweetest people that you will ever meet.

Yes, I know that this too can apply to all people, men and women of all races.

But this article is focusing more on black women because they are hit hardest with this stereotype.

First Lady Michelle Obama experienced a lot of these stereotypes too.

Different critics in the media tried to stick her with stereotypes but it didn’t work.

She was call an angry black woman, militant, she also had high negative approval ratings among the general public.

But as people gotten to know her, it was like she became one of them.

Her negatives went down.

Working moms could relate to her.

She became an inspiration for many women.

Being confident and cocky are too different things.

People sometimes confuse the two.

It isn’t all about cockiness and hardness.

A lot of these women are just confident and assertive.

Hard working and happy.

Educated and successful.

Intimidation, jealousy, envy can transfer into this attitude about angry black women.

Some folks feel threatened of this cycle.

They see all women as stay-at-home moms tending to supper for the family every evening.

And this notion that any woman, especially black women, can become successful breadwinners is very laughable and ridiculous.

And these same folks, mostly white men, are very wrong!

There are a lot of other stereotypes out there, not just toward black women.

The stereotypes towards black men that say most of them are angry, violent, don’t work, high school dropouts, leave their familes, are in jail, criminals, in gangs, dates only white women, etc.

Dumb blondes towards white women that is naive, stuck up, and thinks she can get by only on her looks.

And what about the stereotype towards white men that say most of them are racist, ignorant, feels intimidated by strong women, and think they are more superior and own the whole world with everybody in it.

But just like I told you earlier, the same thing goes for these stereotypes, it did for black women.

This can apply to anybody, even though some races of people experienced these challenges more than others because of disportionate obstacles in their environment, but still that is no excuse to label a whole group of people with this ignorance.

If you would like to read more on our racism and ignorance subjects, you can click here to check them out.

(A special guest writer contributed to this article on RHJSG)

Top Five Forgettable but Important African American Women that help Pave the way for Future Generations

In life, you don’t get many opportunities to do the things that you want to do.

If you do get that chance to achieve your goals.

You should accomplish your fullest potential and never look back.

Being successful and making the world a better place is a wonderful thing.

Like the women below, anybody can contribute to the best of society and while they do it, they will leave their marks for all to appreciate.

This is our top five List of famous but also forgettable African American women that made important contributions in breaking the color barrier and paving the way for future generations today.

Ranging from different fields like Entertainment to Entrepreneurship. 

They are all gone now, but their memories will last a lifetime. And even though they were quite known in their time but they are almost forgotten today. Society may have forgotten them, but history sure hasn’t- because they have made their marks in the history books.

(Note: This top five list covers from the most memorable to least memorable.)

 

5. Dorothy Dandridge (November 9, 1922–September 8, 1965) was an actress and singer. She was the first black woman to be nominated in the best actress category for an Oscar, losing it to actress Grace Kelly at the time. A very attractive and great entertainer. She starred in many films and recorded several songs. One of her best known films which she was nominated for an Academy Award is “Carmen Jones.” Critics gave the film very good reviews. She was sort of like the lesser known Marilyn Monroe of her era. She was also quoted as saying, “If I were white, I could capture the world.” At the time, there wasn’t many starring roles for African American actors or actresses. It took Hollywood awhile to give her the recognition that she deserved. Many years later, Halle Berry portrayed Dorothy Dandridge in a film that premiered on HBO called “Introducing Dorothy Dandridge” bringing the famous actress/singer’s life onscreen. Halle Berry eventually became the first black actress to win the Academy Award, in her acceptance speech, she thank Dorothy and many other notable famous black women. Even though she left this earth at 42 years of age, Dorothy Dandridge would be remembered as an actress who went for all she wanted in her films but achieved only half of it. Because maybe in that earlier time period, Hollywood wasn’t quite ready for her.

 

 4. Madam C.J. Walker (December 23, 1867 – May 25, 1919) Her real name was Sarah Breedlove.  She was an entrepreneur, philanthropist, mogul, and much more. She was the first self made woman millionaire. Also during her time, she had the biggest black-own business. Madam C.J. Walker was like the Oprah Winfrey of her era. Owning many successful hair products, especially for women of color, being inspired from losing her hair to an infection-immediately inventing something to help herself and others.  She gave to many charities. After her death at 51,  her daughter carried her torch on. She will be remembered for her skills and successful innovations that helped change a generation. One of her best known quotes that we love about her is this one, ”There is no royal, flower-strewn path to success. And if there is, I have not found it for if I have accomplished anything in life, it is because I have been willing to work hard.^”

 

 3. Lorraine Hansberry (May 19, 1930-January 12, 1965) was a playwright and she wrote many different pieces spanning  diverse genres. “A Rasin in the Sun” is perhaps one of her most famous plays, base on her own life. Being very successful, films were made based on the play. She became the first black woman to have a play on Broadway, the youngest American playwright, and the fifth woman to be awarded for her writing piece. Dying young from cancer at the tender age of thirty-four, her brilliant works will have a lasting impact. Most likely, if she had the chance, she would have went far and wrote even more terrific pieces like her other best-selling ones. 

 

 2. Shirley Chisholm (November 30, 1924 – January 1, 2005) She was a politician. A seventh term congresswoman that represented New York’s 12th Congressional District (1969-1983). She was the first black woman elected to Congress. Also she became the first African American candidate to run for president. And the second woman to run for the nomination of a major political party. Determined and feisty, paving the way for future politicians of color and women. She definitely will be remembered for one of the first to break the color barrier.

1. Elizabeth “Bessie” Coleman (January 26, 1892 – April 30, 1926) She was the first African American woman to become a licensed pilot and the first American regardless of race or gender to have an international pilot license. She was a very determined and confident individual. Fascinated with airplanes since she was a child, achieving her dream as an adult. She was forbidden from learning how to manuever aircraft and getting her license in America because of her race, so she had to travel to France to obtain her license. Perished at the young age of thirty-four in a plane crash, and right at the peak of her career. Being a very smart, courageous, and attractive woman, she is a strong inspiration for women of color and women everywhere.

If you look different you gotta work extra harder

Can you imagine going through life trying harder than everyone else just to fit in. A lot of people can.

Especially women and people of color. They tell you in order to play the game, you gotta know your stuff, prepare to win, be better, beat your opponent at every chance you get. Yeah that’s what we all have to do.

When it comes to being a woman or a minority you gotta reallllly know your stuff, prepare to winnnnn, be a gazillion times better, beat your opponent at everrrrrry chance you get and don’t everrrrrr let your guard down for a second!

Seems frustrating and unfair huh? Yeah it does but that’s how it goes in society now.

Back in the day, Elizabeth “Bessie” Coleman, the first licensed African American female pilot, had to do just that. She faced racism and inferiority not only because she was a woman but a person of color too.

Amelia Earhart became the first female pilot to fly solo across the Atlantic ocean.

Dorothy Dandridge was the first black woman to be nominated for an oscar for best actress in a motion picture (Halle Berry became the first black woman to win the oscar a few years ago).

Sidney Poitier became the first black man to win an oscar for best actor.

Just to name a few more in today’s society that broke through barriers- Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama, Clarence Thomas, Mariah Carey, Jennifer Lopez Etc.

All of these people had to work extra harder just to get where they are today.

Though it’s unfair but that’s the way this society has always been. Don’t get me wrong, sure a lot has improved for the better but we as a people still have a long way to go.

Since the days of slavery, women/minorities’ rights to vote, Gay/Lesbian rights, and everything else in between.

In my opinion, I believe everyone should have the right to be successful but no one group should have to work extra harder than anybody else.